So it has come to my attention that the Guinness factory in England will be closed this summer and moved to Ireland. Some people seem upset about this. First of all, isn't Guinness supposed to be an Irish beer? Shouldn't it then be brewed in Ireland anyways? Second of all, Guinness tastes like ass. Well Glen, of all people shouldn't you enjoy Guinness due to your heritage. No! I'm Scottish, not Irish, you damn fools. I especially hate people who act like they're sophisticated for drinking Guinness. "Oh look at me, I drink Guinness. I know so much about beer. Tralalalala." Just because it doesn't taste good, doesn't mean it has a sophisticated taste. This phenomenom is similar to people who enjoy shitty music because they think that it makes them part of the underground culture and if you don't like their music, well, you're just a mainstream tool. Here's the deal: listening to shitty music and thinking it's cool makes you a hipster doofus. Same thing goes for Guinness. Now, I'm sure there are plenty of people who do genuinely enjoy a pint of Guinness - but it seems to me like everyone needs to have it anytime it's offered. It's almost unanimous opinion that Guinness is God's gift to mankind. Hell, we can't even get consensus on the Earth being round! Anyways, suffice to say, I don't like Guinness. If you want to offer me a beer, and I know you do, make it a Rickard's Red, a Sleeman's Silver Creek (especially if it's the summertime), or a Smithwick's. Alright, so that's it for now and, umm, don't do drugs.