And now, a very special episode of my clog...Well, it's been a while since I've written anything here and trust me, it isn't because I've been too busy. It's more like my computer has chosen to sign the DNR sheet and has refused the life support it's been living on for the past 5 years. So in honour of ole IBM Compatible, I'm doing a recap of some of my favourite computer-related moments. I can still remember when we adopted the computer from the store in 1997, it was probably already 2 years old by then but we didn't care, we knew that by showing the computer love it would love us in return. And like any parents who have just adopted a child, we immediately shunned and segregated the old computer, never to be used again. With the new computer we could use different fonts, and even italicize. Not only that, but we no longer had to use the dot matrix printer replaced by a fancy new one that could print in colour. You should have seen the reports I handed in when we just received the new computer - different font for each paragraph, colours and clip art galore. It was like the greys and whites of winter had melted away in our lives, to be replaced with the colourful flamboyance of spring. But all was not well. I recall purchasing a Madden 99 computer game at CompuSmart (aka the Porn-Den) to find out later that my computer could not handle its sheer awesome videogameosity. That was the first sign of trouble. But my worries were quickly blanketed away due to the emergence of the internet in my household. My very late nights would never be the same. Soon upon hooking up the internet, I discovered the wonders of pornography. My still formative opinion on women and sexuality was being warped at a rate that no Emmanuelle movie could match. I would show up to class still red-eyed and weary from a long night of relishing in the exploits of the likes of Captain Stabbin' and the members of the Bang Bus. But the computer's greatest asset soon became its greatest liability. Viruses infected our computer at a staggering rate. They would rape and pillage the harddrive and there was nothing which could be done to stop them. Oh, heroic means were performed to save its life, but the quality was never the same. It became a fickle and bitter computer - just as likely to be useful for hours at a time as it was to crash within 5 minutes of use. Increasingly, it grew obvious that the end was nigh. It was a valiant fight, but I am sad to say, its life was ended this past week. I know this story of a boy and his computers might have lead some of you to drench your keyboards with your tears. But I choose to follow these words: think upon the good times and weep not. I'll miss you computer. We'll always have Mike's Apartment... we'll always have Mike's Apartment. ( I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone... )