It's rare for me to actually crave a beer but I was itching for one this past Friday. I decided then to take up an invitation to watch a friend's brother play bass in a band (Jolene and Sharlene Keets) at a bar called Stayner's Wharf. The crowd there skews a little older and I can't find my friends so I settle at the bar with a pint of Hoegaarden (probably the finest name of a beer this side of Sami Klause beer). A quarter of a pint later, my friend arrives with his girlfriend and her two other friends. As it turns out, all three girls are from the North Shore of Montreal. I must say, after spending half a year in Nova Scotia there is a lot to be said for the Quebecois accent, especially when you're drinking and understanding only half of what's being spoken to you.

A half-dozen pints and a concert after arriving, the four of us decide to take off to The Lower Deck. I'm normally not a fan of Lower Deck and its overpriced drinks but I felt like dancing and so did the girls so who was I to object? Five gin and tonics and 1573 dance steps later, it was time to go. I bid my companions farewell and godspeed upon their journey and I made my way back to the shire, or rather my bachelor apartment.

As I stumbled and bumbled my way down the block, I heard a voice in the distance: "Hey, why you walking so fast?". Indifferent to the person's call, I continued on my merry way. Again, the stranger called me: "Hey, why you walking so fast?". Using my drunken logic, it occured to me that this person must have some important information for me and surely wouldn't want to rob/rape/stab me, especially in a dark and deserted street like I found myself. As the female stranger approached me, it became clear that she had lived a full life(much in the same way as Keith Richards has).

"Got any money dear?"

"Oh I'm sorry ma'am, I spent it all at the bar."

"Why you walking so fast?"

"Well, I didn't think I was..."

"Listen you're cute so I'll cut you a deal. $20 and I'll..."

"Oh! No thank you."

"It's okay dahling, I've got condoms."

This continued for about two blocks as she tried to bargain with me into succumbing to her, umm, feminine wiles. She eventually left me - probably testing the saying that goes: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was yours all along". I guess it wasn't true love after all.